I hate taking off work! Number one, I always feel like a bad employee. Number two, when you're a teacher...it's almost a bigger pain to take off than to go to work. You have to write a sub plan and then you are behind and have to try and catch up when you come back to work. Plus, your room is usually left in a big mess because kids seem to forget how to act when they have a sub.
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| Probably what my students thought this morning. |
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However, I took off today because we are still battling with
Lee's functional abdominal pain syndrome, visceral hypersensitivity, and anxiety/depression. He had two doctor's appointments yesterday and was gone from the house most of the day, which is really hard for him. He was in pain all day and got real upset last night. We ended up in the ER last night for the 3rd time in the past week. I knew I needed to take a day for my own sanity as well as I knew he really needs someone with him during the day. Luckily, his dad has come up and will be here with him tomorrow and next week while I'm working.
Lee's condition seems like it's about 70% mental and 30% physical (this is my nonexpert opinion). I feel like there's such a taboo on mental illness. However, when you begin to deal with it personally, you suddenly find out so many people have battled anxiety and/or depression. I don't understand why this is kept such a secret. People dealing with mental illness need help, prayers, encouragement, and support just like someone battling cancer. So often I feel like people don't fully understand it. If you have a mental illness, there's not something wrong with you. You're sick just like someone with cancer, heart disease, diabetes, the flu, etc.
I can't even begin to put into words what all of this has been like for us. Lee has had this condition for many years, but it has gotten worse in the past year and a half. Then, in the past 2 months, it has been the worst it has ever been. Within the last few weeks, he has really not gone a day without pain. We have not gone a week without a couple of ER visits.
We are so blessed to have many loving family, friends, and church family who have supported us through this. They have blessed us more than they will ever know.
I can only give praise to God for continuing to provide for us through it all. He has also given me the strength to continue to endure and do what I can to help Lee while also trying to work.
I can't seem to get the lyrics to Kari Jobe's song "Healer" out of my head.
You hold my very moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease
I trust in You, Lord I trust in You
I believe You're my healer
I believe You are all I need
Oh, I believe
I believe You're my portion
I believe You're more than enough for me
Jesus You're all I need
Nothing is impossible for You
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for You
You hold my world in Your hands
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| Listen to the song here. |
"Praise the Lord, my soul;
all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
Praise the Lord, my soul,
and forget not all his benefits—
who forgives all your sins
and heals all your diseases,
who redeems your life from the pit
and crowns you with love and compassion,
who satisfies your desires with good things
so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s."
Psalm 103:1-5