If you've been following my blog for a while, you have seen me mention my husband being in and out of the hospital. Two specific posts where I mention it are here and here. It also inspired my two guest posts which you can find here.
I often don't write about it because my blog is kind of an escape for me. It's a place where I can go and get away from all those things that are weighing me down. Thank you to all of you who follow, read, and comment on my blog. You are an encouragement to me and help me to deal with the stress of having a husband with a chronic problem.
Lee wrote this letter to our church family. We wanted to share his letter with you also to thank those of you who've been thinking of us as well as to let you know more about what's going on. We appreciate every prayer.
Dear
Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I
would like to thank you for your many prayers during this difficult and trying
season of my life. Your love and kindness to Megan and me has taught me more
about Jesus than I could ever learn at seminary. I am humbled by your actions
this summer. I have struggled with not being able to fulfill my
responsibilities at church. We honestly do not understand why or for what
reason God has decided to give us this trial (27 ER visits since April 2011, 31
days of hospitalizes in WakeMed and UNC, 4 times I was in Kidney Failure). I
have meditated daily on the words of Job, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has
taken way; blessed be the name of the Lord." We are fighting the thought
and idea of giving up and moving back home to be closer to family. We both
still believe that God wants me in school and us at Theresa. So, I have signed
up and paid for classes this semester in faith and obedience. We are learning
that there are treasures in suffering.
It
has been a long journey but my doctors believe they know what is going on with
me. I am experiencing functional abdominal pain syndrome and associated
depression. My brain has been changed in such a way that it is no longer able
to properly regulate abdominal pain. I also have visceral hypersensitivity and
central hypersensitivity. Finally, they believe I have narcotic bowel syndrome.
Over time the narcotics I have received for abdominal pain can actually make
the pain associated with functions GI disorders worse. As bad as these things
sound there is hope! They believe with the right balance of medication they can
re-establish proper pain regulation, as well as, allow for re-growth of my
nerves.
This
summer I have wrestled with making some changes in how I lead the youth for the
upcoming school year. The following words from the band Sanctus Real are a
perfect expression of what has being taking place in my mind and heart.
"It's time for healing time to move on….Whatever You're doing inside of
me, It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace, It's hard to surrender to
what I can't see but I'm giving in to something Heavenly." With this said,
I hope and pray you understand this year isn't going to follow the normal
trends of youth ministry. I am excited to see what God is going to do for being
obedient to his leadership. Thank you again for all the prayers, cards, texts,
messages, gifts, emails, and calls. Also, thank you to all of you who have
helped out with the youth in my absence. I look forward to serving you pain
free! God Bless!
Sincerely,
Lee
He is far from healed. We still have good days and bad days. I'm just praying for more good than bad. I'm also praying to stay out of the hospital.
I believe that God is allowing us to go through this trial for a reason. If nothing else, I hope we can inspire any of you who may be going through trials of your own.
We are not able to get through this in our own strength. God is giving us the strength to continue on and to trust. We want to glorify Him no matter the situation-in good times and in bad.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4
3 comments:
Dear Megan, There is nothing that brings peace like obedience. I know that you and Lee are mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted leaving you NO choice but to depend on the Father. This can be very humbling, yet for you and those observing your trials, provides an opportunity to see Jesus do His best work. I know that He chooses His very best to stand before the world with such a witness. Where we are weak, He is strong. With every post, you show your submission. It stands before the world as a glimmering rare jewel to be emulated. So, while you struggle, revel in your opportunity to share Jesus. THIS, my sweet little friend, is what it's all about!
In His Love,
"Miss" Leah
And here come the tears yet again. I am thankful to read you both have wonderful people surrounding you and helping you through this time of trial. I am praying fervently that the doctors will be able quickly to regulate the medication, and that the Lord will be pleased to bring relief to you, Lee and that He will enable you to continue seminary with no setbacks. "Because he hath set his love upon me, therefore will I deliver him: I will set him on high, because he hath known my name. He shall call upon me, and I will answer him: I will be with him in trouble; I will deliver him, and honour him. With long life will I satisfy him, and shew him my salvation." Psalm 91:14-16
My heart really goes out to you. I do believe in healing, and I believe that God wants to heal your husband. I'll be praying the prayer of faith, that God will heal him.
Isaiah 53:5 says
"He was pierced for our transgressions,he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment for our peace was upon his shoulders and by his stripes we ARE healed.
When Jesus died for us he did more than just pay for our salvation. He paid for our healing as well. The stripes on his back were for our healing, he suffered and died so that we could walk in health here on this earth.
Healing isn't always immediate, sometimes it's a process of telling God each day I claim healing for my body because of what you bore on your back at the cross. Each time the devil tries to tell you that he can't be healed quote Isaiah 53:5, remind him that Jesus bore those stripes for your healing.
I will be praying the prayer of faith with you. Feel free to email me anytime at fashionablysaving@gmail.com
Susan
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