If you've been following my blog for a while, you have seen me mention my husband being in and out of the hospital. Two specific posts where I mention it are here and here. It also inspired my two guest posts which you can find here.
I often don't write about it because my blog is kind of an escape for me. It's a place where I can go and get away from all those things that are weighing me down. Thank you to all of you who follow, read, and comment on my blog. You are an encouragement to me and help me to deal with the stress of having a husband with a chronic problem.
Lee wrote this letter to our church family. We wanted to share his letter with you also to thank those of you who've been thinking of us as well as to let you know more about what's going on. We appreciate every prayer.
Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
I would like to thank you for your many prayers during this difficult and trying season of my life. Your love and kindness to Megan and me has taught me more about Jesus than I could ever learn at seminary. I am humbled by your actions this summer. I have struggled with not being able to fulfill my responsibilities at church. We honestly do not understand why or for what reason God has decided to give us this trial (27 ER visits since April 2011, 31 days of hospitalizes in WakeMed and UNC, 4 times I was in Kidney Failure). I have meditated daily on the words of Job, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken way; blessed be the name of the Lord." We are fighting the thought and idea of giving up and moving back home to be closer to family. We both still believe that God wants me in school and us at Theresa. So, I have signed up and paid for classes this semester in faith and obedience. We are learning that there are treasures in suffering.
It has been a long journey but my doctors believe they know what is going on with me. I am experiencing functional abdominal pain syndrome and associated depression. My brain has been changed in such a way that it is no longer able to properly regulate abdominal pain. I also have visceral hypersensitivity and central hypersensitivity. Finally, they believe I have narcotic bowel syndrome. Over time the narcotics I have received for abdominal pain can actually make the pain associated with functions GI disorders worse. As bad as these things sound there is hope! They believe with the right balance of medication they can re-establish proper pain regulation, as well as, allow for re-growth of my nerves.
This summer I have wrestled with making some changes in how I lead the youth for the upcoming school year. The following words from the band Sanctus Real are a perfect expression of what has being taking place in my mind and heart. "It's time for healing time to move on….Whatever You're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace, It's hard to surrender to what I can't see but I'm giving in to something Heavenly." With this said, I hope and pray you understand this year isn't going to follow the normal trends of youth ministry. I am excited to see what God is going to do for being obedient to his leadership. Thank you again for all the prayers, cards, texts, messages, gifts, emails, and calls. Also, thank you to all of you who have helped out with the youth in my absence. I look forward to serving you pain free! God Bless!
He is far from healed. We still have good days and bad days. I'm just praying for more good than bad. I'm also praying to stay out of the hospital.
I believe that God is allowing us to go through this trial for a reason. If nothing else, I hope we can inspire any of you who may be going through trials of your own.
We are not able to get through this in our own strength. God is giving us the strength to continue on and to trust. We want to glorify Him no matter the situation-in good times and in bad.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
"You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world." 1 John 4:4